Thanks! DEC 30th! Be there!

I find it interesting that so many people have been dropping like flies and dying lately. maybe my perspective is off maybe I'm living some \\/eird dream or a very strange reality. I feel it is time to build and create all of the things I see in my imagination. I see a different \\/orld for us. My friend Brienne Coates is having a cancer benefit on DEC 30th! This event is a special one. This event gives my imagination room to gro\\/! This is an exciting time because I am learning things I never thought \\/ere possible. I am very grateful for the guides and friends I have! I am truly blessed to be able to be in the position I am and that's all thanks to you guys! THANKS! #\\/olfCouncil

Keep it real! #WolfCouncil

Does doing something all the time make you a crazy person? I find that people Who are masters at something "great" are people Who usually don't have to say much. Glorifying your own progress means you have to convince yourself of something right? Right! See here's the deal, if "YOU" are good at something then you've mastered displaying that something for others. In that time "YOUR" Work speaks for itself!. So to all you people out there who have to brag about your accomplishments. Real workers are coming! The best kind! Better hush and get to work yourself! #WolfCouncil

Fear \\/ithin. I dare you to listen. #\\/olfCouncil

Ho\\/ \\/as "Your" life spent? as you stand here at your grave. \\/as it \\/orth it? Strategically outlaid. Injected and tossed further again, as I relive my mistakes over.
Al\\/ays and all \\/ays   I've died and come here
and even though I think to be safe, I'm fearful again.
\\/ill you fix this? or \\/alk a\\/ay? remember bleeding hearts "Die" but the soul it still stays. Reject it and move further again as you relive your mistakes over.
Al\\/ays and all \\/ays   I've died and come here
and even though I think to be safe, I'm fearful again.
Forgotten and pushed aside, feeling out of place.
Helpless, Cold inside, I'll be here \\/hile you brace.
Al\\/ays and all \\/ays   I've died and come here
and even though I think to be safe, I'm fearful again.

Charlie and Jhindell

It is now time for me to prepare. It is now time for me
to show the world my two old friends from childhood. Jhindell
and Charlie. Jhindell is my higher self the angel that lives in
me he protects the child. So does Charlie but he had to be tamed
Because he almost destroyed "KINGDOM" when I was 23.
The child still lives hidden deep within my body mind and spirit.
I hate the fact that some people may not understand what I am attempting
to do. At this point it does not really matter anymore.
I have never lived a happy life. So I created two beings that
I hung out with. Now it's time for my to introduce.
Charlie and Jhindell.

My reason

I got in trouble on facebook for expressing myself. Dear facebook people or people who read my posts. I just watched a Woman live and die like they said Jesus did in the bible. I have never read the bible or been Baptized. I"ve heard these stories because I grew up in a church Cult where the men did very bad things to girls. It made no sense to me at all because they were also saying in the name of God forgive us... Then it would happen again. So I ran away to try and find a family of my own . I found my friends, all of my friends, people in the world, Different people and then I turned around went back to the people at that church and I said(18 years later).. WTF are you talking about! If you guys are teaching God and love We're all fucked! MOVE OUT OF MY WAY AND LET ME SHOW YOU HOW TO DO THIS! MY AUNTIE TISHA TOLD ME TO DO THIS! #watchme.. #toodles.. -_-

Best Letter I've sent !

To My Step Dad

Let's get some things in place just for the future. I am not YOUR son.. My father's name is Ralph. You imposed ideas and commitments on my family that you yourself did not keep! As far as forgiveness for you is concerned well......... You never gave the opportunity for an apology for the abuse and bullshit you put my Mother through! This ain't about me it's about My family. The family that you contributed nothing to, the family that you neglected for women and Bullshit. I found my Father on my own so I know what I need to know. In the future when you pray for or with someone try not to spit in their face. Also Shut up sometimes when In public you look like a major dumbass. I know you probably don't wanna read this lol but I'll tell you what, You don't want me to say this to your face! See buddy I know you, I know you better than you know you, I'm no dummy and I take care of the people I love and I help as best as I can. You used your gifts and talents to brainwash people who were not as slick as you are and that is why You have nothing to show for. You created this bullshit now deal with it!. I've met people like you in this world, people who lack patience and true understanding for others. As much as I would love to kick you around like a rag doll I feel sorry for you little man. Next time you feel the need to have the holy ghost.. Sit down think about who you are and shut the fuck up and thank god that nobody has killed you yet. Lol if anyone can say God is real you can, because nobody has managed to kick your fucking teeth in. I know my letter wash a little harsh, I know but if you ever step over your boundaries with me again I will surely end your rein of terror. Now you go and have yourself a great day. If you see me again I hope that you humble your self and shut up. Cause you talk way too much. Have a great life.. Sincerely
Ralph Lauren StarChild
"The Lone Wolf"

Sex offender Using God's name in Vain

So I attended a funeral service the other day. Just to watch a human Devil spit in the face of hundreds at a church. When did forgiveness become a way for someone to beat your ass? When is it the right time to put a person in their place for the things they should be held accountable for? If you have a repeated sex offender at a church telling people in the audience that they are crazy for possibly drinking or smoking weed, how is that justifiable? We all know that none of us are perfect right? So you tell me what you think about this. I believe that when a person is truly sorry for their bad deeds, they just simply say........"I'm Sorry". Then they turn around and walk away and sit the Fuck Down! In that moment forgiveness starts to create itself then the people who have been hurt by the wrong doings have their chance to properly forgive the multiple sex offender. See I believe God is real and I understand that people (like this guy I'm speaking of who is a major "Bitch" by the way.) Mess stuff up and create mistakes. But being tempted to rape a child and then doing it multiple times means you need help! And the people around you should get you the help! Not forgive your bullshit and allow you to make a mockery out of them in front of hundreds. See I don't fuck with these people anymore and quite frankly I think they are some bitches and they are okay with allowing these sex offenders to speak at a church. So if I find out you are a unapologetic sex offender and you act like your shit don't stink I'm gonna call you out. It never says in the bible that you're not supposed to stand up for what's right! I'm a StarChild #letsgetitin

R.I.P Auntie Tisha! you are truly an angel!

Life and Death.

You're born to die it seems. I was once afraid to die , or maybe I was afraid to live. I am going through a tough time right now. I just found out my aunt passed away this morning. She was a sweet woman who always had encouraging words about life and God. I don't really understand life at times as I'm sure most don't. I can say that in life I believe if we live it to the fullest things would be a'lot better. I have a dream a dream that includes all of us. I really don't feel like typing right now. Rest in peace Auntie Tisha you will be missed.

Sitting at Zodiac Cafe and Lounge (Thoughts)

I'm sitting here at Zodiac thinking about my future as a man. I have no idea where any of this is going or how I am going to come riches and wealth. I do know that all of these events have renewed my faith in love and God. If you are ever in the Crown Point area visit Zodiac cafe and Lounge this place is amazing http://www.facebook.com/zo.diac.98. So while sitting here I can thank all my lucky stars etc. that I am not the same person I was one year ago. Although I have no place to live atm I have been getting help from some very dear friends and I am thankful for that. Very thankful. So yeah like I was saying after I love being here at Zodiac right now. Mike was just talking to me about what I was doing and I said "I am testing myself right now, to see if I have what it takes to be the person I need to be."So here we go with everything! I wonder where this will take me lol. I'm not waiting anymore but I will be patient and I will work hard to get to where I belong. I am completing, this is painful but it's totally worth it.

Hard Work

I have a vision in my head of a world with peace, love and understanding. Will this ever happen? Or am I just focused on the wrong aspects of life? I always seem to dream in my head and these dreams seem so real. Money will help these dreams come true, but money does not  fall off trees and I refuse to gain money by doing shady things. So hard work and dedication is what I have. I even left my home just to push myself even further in these dreams. I figured I'll sink or swim. I am a man I should be able to dig myself out of this hole I dug myself into. let's get to work! #\\/olfCouncil

Chloe's Stone "The Lone Wolf" part 2

You taught me to fly, How do I Soar?
The Love in my Heart is the melody
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBsfBLFVPTQ

I was wilding out tripping, in the
wrong life slipping, Now that i'm standing
here with you, Now I know. (Hey)
That Love had to listen, I have so many
questions. I only ask questions,
cause My fear is all I know.
              (hey)

"If you're wondering where Im pointing to,
You'd best realize your vision change your
attitude. You can't deny the feelings that
are passing through. You can't rewind the times
Leave it all behind, Just Change your altitude."
                 (hey)

You taught me to fly, How do I soar?
The Love in my Heart is the melody

Aye I'm not kidding around, She picked my heart
up, off the ground. With No incentive, She handed me a stone a stone (hey).My tears blurred my vision
I had so many questions, I only ask questions,
cause My fear is all I know.

"If you're wondering where Im pointing to,
You'd best realize your vision change your
attitude. You can't deny the feelings that
are passing through. You can't rewind the times
Leave it all behind, Just Change your altitude."
                 hey

You taught me to fly, How do I Soar?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBsfBLFVPTQ
The Love in my Heart is the melodyhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBsfBLFVPTQ

Sometimes Love, God , whatever higher power there is brings people, situations or one person into your life to show you who you are and to help you change for the better.. For me, there was a 3 year old named Chloe. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBsfBLFVPTQ

I'm grateful 

Ralph Lauren StarChild

A dream "The Lone Wolf" part 2

You're breaking my heart, Day By Day, Open my eyes,
yeah, It was only a dream

Full of vibrations, I'm blinking my eyes,
Coked up sensations, What a surprise,
Meeting by Beating, You wear a disguise,
The sex is just insane, look in my eyes,

I give you my heart, I die,
(I can't change you!)
From the look in your eyes, I die
(I can't change you!)
I give you my heart, I die
(I can't change you!)
take a look at my heart
(I can't change you!)
take a look at my heartx2

Breathe*

You're breaking my heart, Day By Day, Open my eyes,
yeah, It was only a dream

Picture by picture, You fuck with my mind,
Meaning for meaning, this is a lie,
Stay one more night, Stay one more night
Stay one more night, Stay one more night

Do what you do! Yeah
(I can't change you!)
Do what you do! Yeah
(I can't change you!)X2
I give you my heart, I die,
(I can't change you!)
From the look in your eyes, I die
(I can't change you!)
I give you my heart, I die
take a look at my heart
(I can't change you!)
take a look at my heart

Breathe*

You're breaking my heart, Day By Day, Open my eyes,
yeah, It was only a dream

New Day-Thanks

Today is the first Monday I have had in 2 years that I felt positive about my future. I have been ripping and running around getting things done for myself and my business "Superior Siding." This is what life should feel like people. It's funny how my depressed and drug filled past started to destroy my taste for music. I'm a highly emotional person, so the affect that drugs had on me was down right insane, and it had me so messed up that I did not want to listen to music. Well that is gone! I have no idea how all this change has occurred, what I do know is that I remember praying and crying week after week asking god to get me out of that life style I was living. I was using 4 days a week and not normal usage at all. Using from a Wednesday til like a Saturday and that went on for almost 2 years. I am truly blessed to be able to have use of my body and my mind still. I am grateful I did not watch anyone die or kill myself. I am grateful to have my boy John Palacios in my life as well as My friends In Beat Fakulty and Matt Rotherker, Robert Hemphill, My brother Reggie, Ovaflo, Aneta, Vizion, J.Crist, and Jaidon Da boss So many to name I can't get em all! I especially wanna thank John Palacios who is giving me a chance to become a rich asshole lol! he recently had a major loss in loosing his father. Then he gained me as a friend and has helped me through one of the hardest times of my life. So I'm sure whatever he learned from his father was very, very special. John was telling me yesterday that his dads death Anniversay is May 4th, I think I'm gonna do something cool that day for him so that he can celebrate the memory he had with his father. See now that's what I'm talking about tears in my eyes again! Those feelings I just expressed I have not felt them on a consistent basis for quite sometime! I'm back lol!  (That's a pick of John and his Father Rick)

My name is Ralph Lauren StarChild You better learn about me now while I'm still available (wink)

Don't change your mind.

I have no right telling anyone what not to do. I am a complete nut job. Lol I can say that from experience when you change your mind or second guess something you are pretty much putting road blocks in front of yourself. http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-lone-wolf/id507802518 Get this album I talk about it in this album constantly. I was told not to review my past too much the other day. Maybe the guy was right, maybe he was wrong . Who knows? I Do! Fuck that! I will review my past so that I don't make the same mistakes again. One thing I did more than anything was change my Fucking mind all the time. About where I was going to go, and what I was going to do with my life. I can tell you that I have a huge amount of anxiety that is so bad I will go 2 to 3 days just drinking water and maybe alcohol just to calm down. This is a terrible thing to deal with and this stuff started at a young age where I was dealing with a ton of mental, emotional, and physical abuse. I have no Father as well, which is a huge minus to any man trying to be successful! Like I stated in one of my previous posts I am the oldest of five so my siblings need my moms care 10 times more than I did. I just had no clue what to do. While I'm on an interesting subject let me tell you how I met my father lol this is an amazing story lol.  So I never knew this dude, by the way his name Is Ralph Holt, yes I'm a junior lol. How my mother got with this guy?.. Hell, I have no idea but she did. She is was very naive I can surely say, "that's one way she got with him." Well anyway my father is fucking nuts and does nutty things and he is also institutionalized and has been since he was 30 years old. Here's a link so you can see for yourself. http://mugshots.com/US-Counties/Illinois/Sangamon-County-IL/Ralph-Holt.246967.html No I'm not mad at him for not being there blah blah. I could careless I mean it would have been nice to have a father that was there and could have taught me the value of a ton of things but, I did not have it so I had to figure it out with the love and care of my Mother, Friends, and Family. Anyway I moved to Chicago and Joined Burning Autumn and just happen to move on to Division and California St in the city.. My father and his family lived right down the street in the Cabrini Green projects. Lol obviously I had never been there so I'm walking around this place wearing a tight ass green ninja turtle T-shirt and a neon green John Deere hat lol. Well I met him he didn't say much but, he left with his stripper friend ( a guy) so they could go get fucked up on drugs and whatever they were doing. I believe my father had a similar mind to the one I have, he changed his mind about himself one too many times. Now his life is run as if he is a freaking dog. So for that I will not change my mind and he will see one day very soon how his presence in my life made me into the man he chose not to be. I love you daddy even though we only met once I will never forget what he told me.. "You know you have two brothers right?... Shit, I wanna unit you and Reggie with your other two brothers but, I be smoking crack so I be forgetting." lol I loved the honesty so much I just forgave the man for being a fuck up cause I'm gonna be good. That picture of my mom is when she went to Australia with Oprah. I don't need to speak a ton on my mother. I am gonna make her proud, very proud. She is the one who taught me to never give up and to be a kind gentle man. Without my mother I would have had a life of destruction and I would be dead by now. I'm kinda getting teary eyed thinking about how much I care and love my mom. She has always treated me like a man not letting me cry or be weak at any time of my life. I'm about to blow up! I'm not changing my mind on that. I love my parents for giving me enough to help this world and relate to others. That's why they call me StarChild

Memory

I'm gonna keep these days in my memories. The days being ignored pushed around and depressed. I decided that I need to live a more fruitful life. Maybe I need a closer relationship with God maybe I need to get more money hungry. Whatever I need to do, It's gotta be done fast. I am not owed anything but, I took the loooooooong road to success. I do not recommend anyone taking life the way I did. It down right sucks sometimes. I cannot understand how to "Will success" into your life works but, I will say that I see things just coming to me. I see this, I see many things opening up and all the things that I have not received just falling into place. I have never been excited about gaining a new life because I have been conditioned to have a shitty one with depression, loss, and anxiety! So with that being said I will remember all the Bullshit I have been through as a reminder of where I have been. I refuse to die like this. See every dog has his day. Mine is now. ~StarChild

Ralph Lauren StarChild and Rock/Metal bands

So I have been asked to be in yet another Rock/Metal band. This happens every once in a while. I started off in this genre as a musician! The First band I was In was called "Broken Language" It was a very musical rock band that was lead by myself and my partner in crime Matt Rotheker. Coming from Northwest Indiana I don't think we really had the drive to actually go anywhere so I dipped out after two years of service but, I still love of those peeps involved and I still get people telling me that Broken Language was the shit lol! The next band I got into was much more far along it was called "Burning Autumn" a band with a bunch of super open minded individuals. Especially Rasheed Thomas who is now in "Nonpoint". In this band I started to grow up a little as a person those guys showed me the ropes on what needed to be done. Nonetheless after 2 years we parted ways. I did not want that to happen we were just a different points as people and they were ready to grow up and do their things with their lives. The third and most interesting band I was in was called "Symphony" man we were badass! Only thing was those guys were 3 brothers so the fighting and different personal things got in the way of where we could have been! That was a hell of a time! R.I.P. Uncle Joe
http://www.myspace.com/video/vid/5556589

After "Symphony" was over I took a break from the band scene for quite sometime then I ended up in a band called "Sins Set Fire" It was extremely hard to be in this band for the simple fact that I had started my solo career. I could not give enough attention to the situation because I was afraid of abandoning my solo material. That ultimately caused the band to break
 after another 2 year span. Much respect to those guys as well! So here is a brief history in my band life. Who knows if I will join this band that I'm now being presented with. I don't know. I do know that I want to live on stage, and not being on stage is killing me. I should be getting paid to perform and tour etc.. So I am gonna pray on this and I hope god takes me in the right direction. Thanks for reading!

Faith, Healing, and My new life.

There is only one song I have that describes my desire, for me to truly have a new life. It's called "This Is The Hour http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/this-is-the-hour-single/id492398843 This song is available on itunes, also available on itunes in my first solo album "The Lone Wolf". I hope whomever reads this post understands what music truly means to me. I have been making music in bands and as a solo artist for 13 years now. I never thought that I would have the journey I did have. It has been a hell of a ride. I'm at the stage now where I know what I need to do, There's just a ton of negative things holding me down. I am ready for wealth and more responsibility but I feel like I am blocking these things from coming my way. Battling addiction does not help also. So I made an album about drugs, spirituality, and life. http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-lone-wolf/id507802518  One day I broke down in front of a friend as we were high as shit and wasted out of our minds at 8 a.m. He asked me why I was crying, I told him it was because I wanted to explode and become apart of everything. He just starred at me with a blank stare and told me that people were no ready to know someone like myself. I love people to freaking death also! Life force energy exchange is awesome! I heard today that the world was going in shambles. I have no idea what to believe with all this stuff about the end of our world. By the way.. Anyone of you who reads any of my blogs that are not lyrics will be like. "This dudes mind is all over the place." It is I'm sorry for that. Well anyways I think I'm supposed to just tell you about my life and experiences. I will get to that shortly! Thanks for being apart of my life! I hope I am an entertaining and good contribution to your life. "I am the Rose, I am the Fire that burns inside, I am Love. Ralph Lauren StarChild

You Know

Lonely, Lonely? You're not aLone, You're not aLone
HUngry, Hungry? eat from My soul, cause I am trying to
Break you down, Dont you feel so heavy? Break down, wanna see your soulfly?

Falling, falling tears fom us all, years from a fall
I fell and broke through a tone trapped here in time
only im trying to break down. Are you feeling so surprised?
Since the last time I saw you?

You oughta know, You oughta know, you oughta know
I Saw your plan , But the mistake you made, you looked away.

Forever, Forever. Now that I know you, now that I've loved you,
I'm staind... here with a curse, Trapped in your time. only I'm breaking through

You can't Solve it.

You cant solve it
Stress on my mind, my tears took  pavement,
feel like im a die, fuck you save it,
blessed here devine, my fears give me a beating
my spirits rather needy,so fuck you feed me.
when you celebrate I fill this engine, then you celebrate,
you need this fucking beating, Our growth cant relate
cause you're on a broke back mission. I
take silence like a man, so fuck you feed me.
When your brain can understand I'll come down and
I'll meet you.when your brain can understand
I'll come down and I'll teach you. for now here we stand,
I'm pissed off that I need you, my git is kinda
needy so fuck you feed me. You got problems, you've got
your issues, i've got my problems, i've got your issues,
what the fuck is a ref, if there aint no fucking whistle?
what the fuck is a ref, if there aint no fucking whistle?
hell burned it's time, throw in the towel,
it's simple. you're fucked this time, throw in the
towel.

Live Forever

Dont you remember we will live forever?
Hold on to feeling we will live forever

Bones broken on a past delusion
I can feel it ripping time today they're
trying to steal our souls trying
to take our souls
I'm coming with the real conclusion
Signs pointing from the name you speak they're
Trying to take our souls trying to steal our souls

Dont you remember we will live forever?
Hold on to feeling we will live forever

I'm coming with a new revolution
our ending never be the day they're
Trying to steal our souls trying to take
our souls
I'm is coming with a new revolution
our ending never be the day they're
tryin to steal our souls trying to take our souls


Dont you remember we will live forever?
Hold on to feeling we will live forever

you said impossible, I came it's possible, one day
we will overflow, one day you gotta go!

Circus

You do it for the money
I do it from my heart
go On with this circus now
tear this world apart

I grabbed a diamond from the moon
this crazy situation made me thought
I had you. I came to the to earth, I
SKIPPED MARS, Your planet needs attention,
I guess becasuse I'm bored, You pay me for
attention.

Now we got alot of rules but, In this
simple game there's no competition.
In this simple game we're all stars
No time for intermission, You get it
or you're done, I hope that you are listening.

Go go go reach on on through all those skills you know
Grab Your morals they're for show.
Pick the lie that you wanna be.
GO go go cause it's on on on
what happens next yeah it's fun fun fun.
You get no refund from my magic
I hope you have fun In my circus.

Awakened Spirits (Sleep Paralysis)

Complex I feel I breed disease, Motionless..
eyes awake , you see?
Is this a lie ? Is this a game?
I've waitied here so patiently.

What's the issue?, here's the issue
it's not simple, but i'll teach you
Interdimensional, contradictble,
Conversations from a new parallel.
Sneaky shadow beings, using night time
as there weapon, coming closer, speaking closer
using night time as a session, Now Science Claims hallucinate, and some say it's just Dmt,
But if you felt the fear in me, Then you'd believe what I can see. If ever Something
scary was invading all your memories, then we
could sit and talk about this nightmare's sickening bullshit all day!

"I am the Rose, I am the Fire that burns inside, I am Love."-StarCHILD