A dream "The Lone Wolf" part 2

You're breaking my heart, Day By Day, Open my eyes,
yeah, It was only a dream

Full of vibrations, I'm blinking my eyes,
Coked up sensations, What a surprise,
Meeting by Beating, You wear a disguise,
The sex is just insane, look in my eyes,

I give you my heart, I die,
(I can't change you!)
From the look in your eyes, I die
(I can't change you!)
I give you my heart, I die
(I can't change you!)
take a look at my heart
(I can't change you!)
take a look at my heartx2

Breathe*

You're breaking my heart, Day By Day, Open my eyes,
yeah, It was only a dream

Picture by picture, You fuck with my mind,
Meaning for meaning, this is a lie,
Stay one more night, Stay one more night
Stay one more night, Stay one more night

Do what you do! Yeah
(I can't change you!)
Do what you do! Yeah
(I can't change you!)X2
I give you my heart, I die,
(I can't change you!)
From the look in your eyes, I die
(I can't change you!)
I give you my heart, I die
take a look at my heart
(I can't change you!)
take a look at my heart

Breathe*

You're breaking my heart, Day By Day, Open my eyes,
yeah, It was only a dream

New Day-Thanks

Today is the first Monday I have had in 2 years that I felt positive about my future. I have been ripping and running around getting things done for myself and my business "Superior Siding." This is what life should feel like people. It's funny how my depressed and drug filled past started to destroy my taste for music. I'm a highly emotional person, so the affect that drugs had on me was down right insane, and it had me so messed up that I did not want to listen to music. Well that is gone! I have no idea how all this change has occurred, what I do know is that I remember praying and crying week after week asking god to get me out of that life style I was living. I was using 4 days a week and not normal usage at all. Using from a Wednesday til like a Saturday and that went on for almost 2 years. I am truly blessed to be able to have use of my body and my mind still. I am grateful I did not watch anyone die or kill myself. I am grateful to have my boy John Palacios in my life as well as My friends In Beat Fakulty and Matt Rotherker, Robert Hemphill, My brother Reggie, Ovaflo, Aneta, Vizion, J.Crist, and Jaidon Da boss So many to name I can't get em all! I especially wanna thank John Palacios who is giving me a chance to become a rich asshole lol! he recently had a major loss in loosing his father. Then he gained me as a friend and has helped me through one of the hardest times of my life. So I'm sure whatever he learned from his father was very, very special. John was telling me yesterday that his dads death Anniversay is May 4th, I think I'm gonna do something cool that day for him so that he can celebrate the memory he had with his father. See now that's what I'm talking about tears in my eyes again! Those feelings I just expressed I have not felt them on a consistent basis for quite sometime! I'm back lol!  (That's a pick of John and his Father Rick)

My name is Ralph Lauren StarChild You better learn about me now while I'm still available (wink)

Don't change your mind.

I have no right telling anyone what not to do. I am a complete nut job. Lol I can say that from experience when you change your mind or second guess something you are pretty much putting road blocks in front of yourself. http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-lone-wolf/id507802518 Get this album I talk about it in this album constantly. I was told not to review my past too much the other day. Maybe the guy was right, maybe he was wrong . Who knows? I Do! Fuck that! I will review my past so that I don't make the same mistakes again. One thing I did more than anything was change my Fucking mind all the time. About where I was going to go, and what I was going to do with my life. I can tell you that I have a huge amount of anxiety that is so bad I will go 2 to 3 days just drinking water and maybe alcohol just to calm down. This is a terrible thing to deal with and this stuff started at a young age where I was dealing with a ton of mental, emotional, and physical abuse. I have no Father as well, which is a huge minus to any man trying to be successful! Like I stated in one of my previous posts I am the oldest of five so my siblings need my moms care 10 times more than I did. I just had no clue what to do. While I'm on an interesting subject let me tell you how I met my father lol this is an amazing story lol.  So I never knew this dude, by the way his name Is Ralph Holt, yes I'm a junior lol. How my mother got with this guy?.. Hell, I have no idea but she did. She is was very naive I can surely say, "that's one way she got with him." Well anyway my father is fucking nuts and does nutty things and he is also institutionalized and has been since he was 30 years old. Here's a link so you can see for yourself. http://mugshots.com/US-Counties/Illinois/Sangamon-County-IL/Ralph-Holt.246967.html No I'm not mad at him for not being there blah blah. I could careless I mean it would have been nice to have a father that was there and could have taught me the value of a ton of things but, I did not have it so I had to figure it out with the love and care of my Mother, Friends, and Family. Anyway I moved to Chicago and Joined Burning Autumn and just happen to move on to Division and California St in the city.. My father and his family lived right down the street in the Cabrini Green projects. Lol obviously I had never been there so I'm walking around this place wearing a tight ass green ninja turtle T-shirt and a neon green John Deere hat lol. Well I met him he didn't say much but, he left with his stripper friend ( a guy) so they could go get fucked up on drugs and whatever they were doing. I believe my father had a similar mind to the one I have, he changed his mind about himself one too many times. Now his life is run as if he is a freaking dog. So for that I will not change my mind and he will see one day very soon how his presence in my life made me into the man he chose not to be. I love you daddy even though we only met once I will never forget what he told me.. "You know you have two brothers right?... Shit, I wanna unit you and Reggie with your other two brothers but, I be smoking crack so I be forgetting." lol I loved the honesty so much I just forgave the man for being a fuck up cause I'm gonna be good. That picture of my mom is when she went to Australia with Oprah. I don't need to speak a ton on my mother. I am gonna make her proud, very proud. She is the one who taught me to never give up and to be a kind gentle man. Without my mother I would have had a life of destruction and I would be dead by now. I'm kinda getting teary eyed thinking about how much I care and love my mom. She has always treated me like a man not letting me cry or be weak at any time of my life. I'm about to blow up! I'm not changing my mind on that. I love my parents for giving me enough to help this world and relate to others. That's why they call me StarChild

Memory

I'm gonna keep these days in my memories. The days being ignored pushed around and depressed. I decided that I need to live a more fruitful life. Maybe I need a closer relationship with God maybe I need to get more money hungry. Whatever I need to do, It's gotta be done fast. I am not owed anything but, I took the loooooooong road to success. I do not recommend anyone taking life the way I did. It down right sucks sometimes. I cannot understand how to "Will success" into your life works but, I will say that I see things just coming to me. I see this, I see many things opening up and all the things that I have not received just falling into place. I have never been excited about gaining a new life because I have been conditioned to have a shitty one with depression, loss, and anxiety! So with that being said I will remember all the Bullshit I have been through as a reminder of where I have been. I refuse to die like this. See every dog has his day. Mine is now. ~StarChild