I have no right telling anyone what not to do. I am a complete nut job. Lol I can say that from experience when you change your mind or second guess something you are pretty much putting road blocks in front of yourself.
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-lone-wolf/id507802518 Get this album I talk about it in this album constantly. I was told not to review my past too much the other day. Maybe the guy was right, maybe he was wrong . Who knows? I Do! Fuck that! I will review my past so that I don't make the same mistakes again. One thing I did more than anything was change my Fucking mind all the time. About where I was going to go, and what I was going to do with my life. I can tell you that I have a huge amount of anxiety that is so bad I will go 2 to 3 days just drinking water and maybe alcohol just to calm down. This is a terrible thing to deal with and this stuff started at a young age where I was dealing with a ton of mental, emotional, and physical abuse. I have no Father as well, which is a huge minus to any man trying to be successful! Like I stated in one of my previous posts I am the oldest of five so my siblings need my moms care 10 times more than I did. I just had no clue what to do. While I'm on an interesting subject let me tell you how I met my father lol this is an amazing story lol. So I never knew this dude, by the way his name Is Ralph Holt, yes I'm a junior lol. How my mother got with this guy?.. Hell, I have no idea but she did. She is was very naive I can surely say, "that's one way she got with him." Well anyway my father is fucking nuts and does nutty things and he is also institutionalized and has been since he was 30 years old. Here's a link so you can see for yourself.
http://mugshots.com/US-Counties/Illinois/Sangamon-County-IL/Ralph-Holt.246967.html No I'm not mad at him for not being there blah blah. I could careless I mean it would have been nice to have a father that was there and could have taught me the value of a ton of things but, I did not have it so I had to figure it out with the love and care of my Mother, Friends, and Family. Anyway I moved to Chicago and Joined Burning Autumn and just happen to move on to Division and California St in the city.. My father and his family lived right down the street in the Cabrini Green projects. Lol obviously I had never been there so I'm walking around this place wearing a tight ass green ninja turtle T-shirt and a neon green John Deere hat lol. Well I met him he didn't say much but, he left with his stripper friend ( a guy) so they could go get fucked up on drugs and whatever they were doing. I believe my father had a similar mind to the one I have, he changed his mind about himself one too many times. Now his life is run as if he is a freaking dog. So for that I will not change my mind and he will see one day very soon how his presence in my life made me into the man he chose not to be. I love you daddy even though we only met once I will never forget what he told me.. "You know you have two brothers right?... Shit, I wanna unit you and Reggie with your other two brothers but, I be smoking crack so I be forgetting." lol I loved the honesty so much I just forgave the man for being a fuck up cause I'm gonna be good. That picture of my mom is when she went to Australia with Oprah. I don't need to speak a ton on my mother. I am gonna make her proud, very proud. She is the one who taught me to never give up and to be a kind gentle man. Without my mother I would have had a life of destruction and I would be dead by now. I'm kinda getting teary eyed thinking about how much I care and love my mom. She has always treated me like a man not letting me cry or be weak at any time of my life. I'm about to blow up! I'm not changing my mind on that. I love my parents for giving me enough to help this world and relate to others. That's why they call me StarChild
I have no right telling anyone what not to do. I am a complete nut job. Lol I can say that from experience when you change your mind or second guess something you are pretty much putting road blocks in front of yourself. http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-lone-wolf/id507802518 Get this album I talk about it in this album constantly. I was told not to review my past too much the other day. Maybe the guy was right, maybe he was wrong . Who knows? I Do! Fuck that! I will review my past so that I don't make the same mistakes again. One thing I did more than anything was change my Fucking mind all the time. About where I was going to go, and what I was going to do with my life. I can tell you that I have a huge amount of anxiety that is so bad I will go 2 to 3 days just drinking water and maybe alcohol just to calm down. This is a terrible thing to deal with and this stuff started at a young age where I was dealing with a ton of mental, emotional, and physical abuse. I have no Father as well, which is a huge minus to any man trying to be successful! Like I stated in one of my previous posts I am the oldest of five so my siblings need my moms care 10 times more than I did. I just had no clue what to do. While I'm on an interesting subject let me tell you how I met my father lol this is an amazing story lol. So I never knew this dude, by the way his name Is Ralph Holt, yes I'm a junior lol. How my mother got with this guy?.. Hell, I have no idea but she did. She is was very naive I can surely say, "that's one way she got with him." Well anyway my father is fucking nuts and does nutty things and he is also institutionalized and has been since he was 30 years old. Here's a link so you can see for yourself. http://mugshots.com/US-Counties/Illinois/Sangamon-County-IL/Ralph-Holt.246967.html No I'm not mad at him for not being there blah blah. I could careless I mean it would have been nice to have a father that was there and could have taught me the value of a ton of things but, I did not have it so I had to figure it out with the love and care of my Mother, Friends, and Family. Anyway I moved to Chicago and Joined Burning Autumn and just happen to move on to Division and California St in the city.. My father and his family lived right down the street in the Cabrini Green projects. Lol obviously I had never been there so I'm walking around this place wearing a tight ass green ninja turtle T-shirt and a neon green John Deere hat lol. Well I met him he didn't say much but, he left with his stripper friend ( a guy) so they could go get fucked up on drugs and whatever they were doing. I believe my father had a similar mind to the one I have, he changed his mind about himself one too many times. Now his life is run as if he is a freaking dog. So for that I will not change my mind and he will see one day very soon how his presence in my life made me into the man he chose not to be. I love you daddy even though we only met once I will never forget what he told me.. "You know you have two brothers right?... Shit, I wanna unit you and Reggie with your other two brothers but, I be smoking crack so I be forgetting." lol I loved the honesty so much I just forgave the man for being a fuck up cause I'm gonna be good. That picture of my mom is when she went to Australia with Oprah. I don't need to speak a ton on my mother. I am gonna make her proud, very proud. She is the one who taught me to never give up and to be a kind gentle man. Without my mother I would have had a life of destruction and I would be dead by now. I'm kinda getting teary eyed thinking about how much I care and love my mom. She has always treated me like a man not letting me cry or be weak at any time of my life. I'm about to blow up! I'm not changing my mind on that. I love my parents for giving me enough to help this world and relate to others. That's why they call me StarChild
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